Today is a weird day. Why? Because my ex-husband got remarried. Under normal circumstances it wouldn’t worry me and frankly it didn’t until……. my children came home from the wedding and showed me the wedding pictures.
First of all – I’ve never seen the “new bride” and while she wasn’t much to look at I have to say wasn’t a fan of her dress. A white bohemian number but it has nothing to do with me and I am not wearing it.
But then I saw the photos of the guests. Sure his sisters and brother were there with their families but then I noticed “friends of ours” in attendance. These are people that we lost touch with almost five years prior to our separation and yet here they were in attendance at his wedding. Obviously he had “reconnected” with them after we split up.
Wow! Am I being ungrateful right now or just petty? I feel disappointed. I guess it’s almost like they “Chose him over me” syndrome. Silly I know. If I wanted to I could have reached out to them myself and asked them over but being a “single woman” a lot of people are loathe to “meet up” again after a break up.
Being single is my choice – I have no ill feelings towards my ex but I feel like I’m the one being left out of the conversation. What are they saying about me? Who cares? Well I guess I do right now. Tomorrow might be a different story and it usually is but it’s almost like he gets the “happy ending” and I get what’s left over.
Gee I guess I’m talking myself INTO this right now. My life is full and I’m extremely happy with the choices I have made. I decided a long time ago (even before the divorce) that I could no longer live with someone in my life (except my kids of course) and when it happened it was a relief but…..on a day like today I begin to wonder WHAT IF…..
I guess it’s my day to talk myself into and out of anything as I sit alone writing on my blog. I’m disappointed in myself right now – why? Because I’m thinking about the What If, when I know it was the best decision for me and I am happy. What more can I ask for?