Don’t know how I feel

Today is a weird day.  Why?  Because my ex-husband got remarried.   Under normal circumstances it wouldn’t worry me and frankly it didn’t until……. my children came home from the wedding and showed me the wedding pictures.

First of all – I’ve never seen the “new bride” and while she wasn’t much to look at I have to say wasn’t a fan of her dress.  A white bohemian number but it has nothing to do with me and I am not wearing it.

But then I saw the photos of the guests.  Sure his sisters and brother were there with their families but then I noticed “friends of ours” in attendance.  These are people that we lost touch with almost five years prior to our separation and yet here they were in attendance at his wedding.  Obviously he had “reconnected” with them after we split up.

Wow!  Am I being ungrateful right now or just petty?  I feel disappointed.  I guess it’s almost like they “Chose him over me” syndrome.  Silly I know.  If I wanted to I could have reached out to them myself and asked them over but being a “single woman” a lot of people are loathe to “meet up” again after a break up.

Being single is my choice – I have no ill feelings towards my ex but I feel like I’m the one being left out of the conversation.  What are they saying about me?  Who cares?  Well I guess I do right now.  Tomorrow might be a different story and it usually is but it’s almost like he gets the “happy ending” and I get what’s left over.

Gee I guess I’m talking myself INTO this right now.  My life is full and I’m extremely happy with the choices I have made.  I decided a long time ago (even before the divorce) that I could no longer live with someone in my life (except my kids of course) and when it happened it was a relief but…..on a day like today I begin to wonder WHAT IF…..

I guess it’s my day to talk myself into and out of anything as I sit alone writing on my blog.  I’m disappointed in myself right now – why?  Because I’m thinking about the What If, when I know it was the best decision for me and I am happy.  What more can I ask for?

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About daysnet

I am having the best time of my life. I'm 50 plus, divorced, two grown children and just the opportunity to have a life after so many years of scrimping and saving is well worth the time it took to get here. I have a fantastic family with great family values and spending time alone is certainly something I enjoy which a lot of people find difficult to handle. I was born and raised in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia and cannot imagine living anywhere else. Strangely I don't like to travel and have no plans to do that in the future - I say strangely because so many people can't understand this, wanting to travel and experience other cultures - not on my agenda. What do I want to do? I have my new house and am enjoying making it my own but now I am looking for the right job for me after 10 years of being "just a receptionist". I don't want to be "JUST" anything anymore. I would like a job that helps me grow personally, something that encourages me to learn but also where I can be creative and people appreciate me. I want, I want, I want but really I need to know that I am comfortable in my own skin and my life means something to me. My motto is ... "People may forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel" I've had many people who I can't even remember their names tell me that I made them feel good and for that I am truly grateful. I have become an avid reader of Rhonda Byrne's 'THE SECRET', "THE POWER" & now 'THE MAGIC". Whether you believe or think it's a load of @#$!@ - I do know that it works for me and my life and I am all the better for it. You can't go wrong when you just learn to say "thank you".
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2 Responses to Don’t know how I feel

  1. utesmile says:

    I can understand how you feel. It would have been better not to know or see anything from the wedding. It is painful to see your friends there though. Don’t what if, but you know that. Put it away and have a happy life yourself. Enjoy your freedom! Hugs

  2. You will be fine . Enjoy your life and do whatever makes you happy!!

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