Two years I’ve been writing my blog and it has been quite an eye opener for me but also it’s been an interesting ride. I’ve seen myself through some grey times (not dark) but I’ve come out the other side all the better for it.
Today I’m 53 plus and fabulous. I’ve lost my best friend and yet the things that she taught me have made me stronger and more alive than I gave myself credit for. I’m an individual, I have claimed back my life and am doing the things I want to.
Weight Watchers was my first step..I have now lost 10 kilos. Not many people understand what a feat that is in itself since I did it before but never quite kept it up. This time it is a life continuing choice. My best friend ended up with so many medical problems and yet if she just addressed them a little earlier I believe she would still be alive today. I will not give in that easily. I have high blood pressure, prone to diabetes and heart disease and that it NOT going to be my fate.
My second step was that I recently volunteered at a facility for disabled people with work and really quite enjoyed it, so much so that I hope to continue to volunteer in the future following in my father’s footsteps. He volunteers at a facility for Alzheimer victims and teaches them how to paint. He started painting for the first time about 10 years ago at 60 because he always wanted to do that – he is now brilliant (that from a very proud daughter) and continues to produce some exceptional work.
I continue to look into different things along with cleaning the house, updating certain facets of it and generally making changes to the home to upgrade into the 21st century. I am learning to be a gardener which I never thought possible since I always had a black thumb but it’s very therapeutic and I find myself enjoying the results of my labour in the form of beautiful flowers.
So my second year alone is coming to an end and I find that I don’t miss my husband any more. In fact the only time I get to even think about him is when he contacts me to talk about money. A good thing he’s an accountant, bad thing because he still thinks its necessary to “tell me what to do” and while I hate that, he’s never going to change and I don’t have to listen unless it affects me personally.
So life is good. I don’t want for anything and appreciate everything I’ve received so I guess my New Year’s Resolution this year is to continue to appreciate what I have. I like being me. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone anymore. I don’t have to do what they say any more and I don’t have to march to someone else’s beat. I am now in control of my life and it feels fantastic.
In 2013 I intend getting down to a weight where I can actually wear clothes that I have been dying to wear since I was 14 years old. I hope to eventually sell this house and get a small house/unit that I can possibly make my own and enjoy the life that I am meant to have. Nothing more, nothing less.
MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM MELBOURNE, VICTORIA, AUSTRALIA