The end is just the beginning

I’m beginning a new journey and trying to apply new ideas into an old outlook and yet when I look at the modern day people I wonder whether I would be best to go back and start from there.  Modern ideas are great but I’m not sure I want to be that modern anymore.

Mobile phones are good to keep in touch with but now life is walking with your fingers on the latest phones and your head down, not caring that you might walk into someone.  I use my phone as a “just in case” measure.  Just in case my kids need me.  Just in case my car breaks down on a lonely road day or night.  I have a home phone and a work phone – you want me I’m available there are all hours of the day or night. Just not on my mobile.

I have come to depend on my computer but more in an informative kind of way.  I like that I can find so much more out in such a small little computer rather than going to a library but hey!  Libraries have books and having one of those in my hands is exciting but again I have a KINDLE and find it great for long journeys to have all my favourite books in the one place and leaving room in my suitcases for clothes and other such items.

Manners – well I can honestly say there is none any more.  Manners at the dinner table?  What dinner table?  It’s usually on a small stool in front of the tv or Gameboy now.  Manners in the street, men stepping aside and opening a door for a woman or any person getting up out of their seat on a train or a tram to let an old person or pregnant lady sit down is now a thing of the past.  So many times I got into trouble for swearing or not apologising when I should be saying my “please” and “thank yous” and yet today it seems that no one cares that you don’t know these things.

It’s FIRST IN BEST DRESSED. Disgusting!!

It’s so hard to be an over 45’s in today’s world unless you want to enter it yourself.  Even to do a computer course is hard.  I wanted to update my skills on Microsoft Office and paid good money for the opportunity only I had the money refunded because no one else wanted to do the course with me and it seems that it won’t be offered again.  I have attempted to find other courses in the same line but they seem to be few and far between.

I did ask to do a course at work but, of course, my department used the money for other things rather than the lowly receptionist.  So here I am trying to move into the 21st century but unfortunately it’s for the very young.

My company, while worldwide, won’t spend money on updating their hardware and software so I am lucky in this regard that I can stay in the same position and not have to learn anything new!  Yeah right, that’s my goal in life is to stay still and not try new things but since the company just got rid of 9,000 people Australia wide I guess that’s no longer an option.

My personal journey includes weight watchers and also teaching myself NOT to bite my nails (something I have always done and can’t remember not doing it) these are important to me not only for personal satisfaction but a life choice that could save my life.  I am prone to so many ailments thanks to my weight but should I make other changes now or should I wait?  I am so confused by this.

I have a job that I like. I have everything that I need to make it work for me but I don’t like the people I work for.  They are younger and toe the company line which is not of my liking.  People have changed in the 8 years I have been there and then there are the people who have been there too long and should have moved on but haven’t.  Should I include myself in that framework?  Options are out there for me and I really need to make decisions but should I make them now when I’m going through personal issues?  I have to be prepared for change and right now I think I have enough change in my life.  Change is a good thing but needs preparation.  Yes I’m scared, because I want to enjoy my life and right now I’m not enjoying half of it or three quarters since we spend more time at work than we do at home.

I have given myself 18 months, to get my act together, to seriously lose weight and get my lifestyle used to the changes that are occurring.  This is a long time but I know that I will be a lot healthier by this time and I think my choices of work would be a lot better because I will have made the effort to ready myself for changes.

I am in two minds and frankly the company could ask me to leave taking away my decision altogether but right now I think that the personal changes outweigh my professional whinging and I guess I’m holding out for a better payout.  I hate that it comes down to money but I’ve worked long and hard to achieve my position within the site and I’ve learned that I’m well liked in the company as a whole and people know of me so I must be doing something right.  So I stand alone making the hard decisions in my life, like so many other people do and hopefully I will get the opportunities that I need to move into the 21st century and learn more about computers and make sure I have what it takes to get a bigger and better job that I can enjoy for the REST OF MY LIFE!

 

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About daysnet

I am having the best time of my life. I'm 50 plus, divorced, two grown children and just the opportunity to have a life after so many years of scrimping and saving is well worth the time it took to get here. I have a fantastic family with great family values and spending time alone is certainly something I enjoy which a lot of people find difficult to handle. I was born and raised in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia and cannot imagine living anywhere else. Strangely I don't like to travel and have no plans to do that in the future - I say strangely because so many people can't understand this, wanting to travel and experience other cultures - not on my agenda. What do I want to do? I have my new house and am enjoying making it my own but now I am looking for the right job for me after 10 years of being "just a receptionist". I don't want to be "JUST" anything anymore. I would like a job that helps me grow personally, something that encourages me to learn but also where I can be creative and people appreciate me. I want, I want, I want but really I need to know that I am comfortable in my own skin and my life means something to me. My motto is ... "People may forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel" I've had many people who I can't even remember their names tell me that I made them feel good and for that I am truly grateful. I have become an avid reader of Rhonda Byrne's 'THE SECRET', "THE POWER" & now 'THE MAGIC". Whether you believe or think it's a load of @#$!@ - I do know that it works for me and my life and I am all the better for it. You can't go wrong when you just learn to say "thank you".
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