After months of waiting for the surgeon’s appointment I now have a date set for my breast reduction – 21st September. Yep 6 weeks from now and I’ll be under the knife and then three days in hospital before a two week break where I can’t lift anything, I can’t hang anything, clean anything or even take a pot from the stove. A week after the op I shall have to see the surgeon to have a look at things and at the two week mark I shall have the stitches taken out.
This is major surgery and as the time gets closer I get more nervous. Not that I’m making the right decision which I know I am but that I want to get carved up.
The surgeon advised that he will at least take HALF of what is there out. What does that mean in cup size? From all indications I will go from a “G” to a “DD” cup size. If he can take any more out I asked that he did and he laughingly said “You might then want an augmentation”. I looked him square in the eye and told him “I’ve spent my life telling people NOT to get boobs enlarged, why would I want to do that to myself?”
People don’t understand how have large breasts hinders not only their self esteem but their wardrobe. To be more comfortable in men’s clothes because they are baggy or to cringe everytime they bring a size out two sizes too large but that’s the only way they will fit around your boobs. I’ve been a size 14-16 most of my life but my boobs have been in the 20s nothing fits, nothing looks good and then at 52 you start to let yourself go because you don’t care and you don’t think anyone else will either.
I’m not asking for the body of a 20 year old and I’m not doing it for other people to notice me – GOD NO!! If anything I like being invisible. This is all about me and how I would like for once to be able to walk into a shop, buy something and know it is going to fit. I haven’t done that EVER!!!
So you can see my dilemna. Now all I have to do is prepare for a two and a half week break from work. I have never taken this long a holiday in my life and while it’s not a holiday it’s me doing nothing but sleep, be uncomfortable, watch tv, read a book and generally stare into space until I can get my life back on track.
In the end it’s all about quality of life for the rest of it. Right now I’m prone to high blood pressure, diabetes, chronic back pain and general arthritis – if I can prolong my life another 10 years after I was supposed to kick the bucket then that is exactly what I’m going to do. I like me, I like my life and I want to have more control than I do right now.