Where am I now?

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve kept a low profile because I’ve been bashing myself up alot in my mind. I drive home and think about my husband. I can’t even call him that any more. It’s been 6 months and I’ve seen him maybe three times and talked to him four times. We email if we have any information.

I’ve been thinking too much. Trying to decipher feelings that I don’t really have. I can’t seem to get through to myself that I’m OK. I’m a strong woman. I love my life. I love my job. My kids and I don’t need a mate.

So why do I keep over thinking things? Why do I wonder what he’s doing? Who he’s doing it with? I guess I’m a glutton for punishment. No! I’m not. I really really don’t care what he’s doing, in fact, I’m happy doing nothing and yet I keep going back and wondering.

They say there is no past and future just the present and I wish I could stay in that mode. I am reading alot more only to try and get back a piece of myself. Myself being a romantic. I love romance. I love reading it, writing it and watching it but because I am not in a relationship and mine ended after 23 years I feel like I’m not worthy to being a romantic again.

What drivvle? I wasn’t happy in my marriage. The only time I felt great was when I got hooked on a couple in a movie, or a series and wanted to know more and kept watching and appreciating how it was all written.

The written word means alot to me but seeing it in front of me makes me smile.

I need to smile more. I need to adjust my thoughts to appreciate that what I’m looking for may not exist for me but I am happy where I am today and my imagination can take me anywhere.

Appreciate life and life will appreciate me.

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About daysnet

I am having the best time of my life. I'm 50 plus, divorced, two grown children and just the opportunity to have a life after so many years of scrimping and saving is well worth the time it took to get here. I have a fantastic family with great family values and spending time alone is certainly something I enjoy which a lot of people find difficult to handle. I was born and raised in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia and cannot imagine living anywhere else. Strangely I don't like to travel and have no plans to do that in the future - I say strangely because so many people can't understand this, wanting to travel and experience other cultures - not on my agenda. I love to write and writing romance keeps me from going completely mad. I have found a job that I absolutely love and there are times it affords me time to type out my stories since I write all my stories by hand - I'm never without a pen or book. My motto is ... "People may forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel" I've had many people who I can't even remember their names tell me that I made them feel good and for that I am truly grateful. I have become an avid reader of Rhonda Byrne's 'THE SECRET', "THE POWER" & now 'THE MAGIC". Whether you believe or think it's a load of @#$!@ - I do know that it works for me and my life and I am all the better for it. The Law of Attraction is something very close to my heart and I can honestly say with certainty that it works for me. I am truly grateful for the life I have been given and continue to enjoy. You can't go wrong when you just learn to say "thank you".
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