I’ve been sitting in my kitchen going through my computer. I joined FACEBOOK again only to join a TV Channel so I could blast them for taking of a tv show hours before it was aired. I then go a load of people commenting on my page who I really didnt want to hear from. No I’m not going to mark them off my page but I’m also not going on Facebook to talk to people. I can do that face to face.
I don’t like the internet to meet people or to discuss problems with others who have been in the same boat.
I write on this blog because I can get my frustrations out of myself and they go out into the world and out of my head. This makes me feel better than even writing in a journal.
I can say anything, do anything and I feel better for it on this blog. I feel good.
I’m in a little quiet place right now and yes I think of him occasionally but not as much as I should after 22 years. He’s not worth the effort. I trusted him and he became a liar and a cheat. I definitely won’t make any mistakes like that again.
I look at other men about my age and think of them as old. In fact younger men seem old now so I guess I won’t be looking for “love in all the right places”. I’ll just keep going the way I am – work it out slowly and make sure I become a better person even though I was pretty nice to begin with.
I’m not going to put myself down any more or let anyone else do that. I’ve done it for too long and wasted alot of time.
I need to know that I’m good enough and accept me. How hard can it be? Well I’m 50 and I still can’t get it right so I guess I’ll curl up with a good book or a good movie and just enjoy the life I have left and trust me I’m going to have fun.