Well it’s been almost three weeks since the separation and while we’ve emailed each other and he’s come to the house I’ve always made myself unavailable. Frankly didn’t really want to see him, however, he had to come over today to go through the bank statement and balance it.
So I was up at 7.30 – showering, changing, cleaning and waiting for him to turn up before I went shopping. I needed to be here because I had to get him to show me how to transfer monies between accounts and fill out specific forms for my pay to go into my own account.
Simple. And believe it or not but it was just that. He turned up. I had pen, highlighter, pencil and eraser all ready for him to use and he sat there and marked things off.
I got my computer started so he could show me what to do and then he was finished.
He also wanted to come over and wash the dog thinking I was incapable of doing the chore he had complained about every two weeks for the past two years but guess what? I came home early yesterday and washed the dog.
Again simple. It showed him that he’s not necessary. I’m quite capable of handling the day to day activities in this house. I think he thought we couldn’t exist without him and frankly we have been existing for the past year while he was miserable trying to “figure out his life”.
I wasn’t impressed when I started to ask about warranties on my dvds so that I could have them repaired only to find out that he’d taken the paperwork with him but I guess I can deal with that for the time being.
What I did do, and shocked myself, was advise him that I need “housekeeping money”. My father wants to come over and do some work around the house – my husband was never the greatest handyman and I want things like bathrooms & laundry painted,I want a few things updated and I don’t see why I should be saving my own money to pay for all of this so I guess he’s going to have to come up with the bucks!
He agreed. Simple. Yeah – his guilt is getting the best of him and he realises that if and when I want to sell this house I need it to be in the bracket in which I want to sell it and it can’t be sold in it’s natural form right now.
I didn’t think I had it in me but I guess you learn how to exist when you have to. There are still things I hate like “food shopping” and since I’ve only done it twice in the last 25 years I think I have the right to be a little skeptical on the way in which is has to be done but I don’t care — they say you should do one thing you fear every day and this is the one. Already I tried to return the trolley and it wouldn’t fit into any of the designated areas which was embarrassing as people were watching me but I know that next time I’ll park in a place where the area is available to me.
Life is good, not great, but it is good. And for that I am truly grateful.