Oh my God – I have done it and didn’t even know I was doing it!
I have LIVED “The Secret-The Power” most of my life without even knowing it. Being the most positive person around it frustrated a lot of people – even my mother. As a child I would scream, yell and get sent to my room while I was angry but once I was allowed out, my mother was shocked to realise that I had left all the bad feelings in my room and I was now “over it”.
I’ve been able to visualise things I wanted and they would eventually turn up but I just thought I was psychic. Well I guess that’s part of “The Secret-The Power” – it’s out there I just have to ASK – BELIEVE – RECEIVE.
Recently my husband and I decided to separate. He hadn’t been happy for quite some time – we were fighting all the time mainly over the raising of the kids, we both came from two different backgrounds and reacted differently to parenting skills. He ordered, I discussed and came to a mutually beneficial decision. Finally it got too much for him and he decided to move on. (Yes I believe another woman was there for him but that’s not the real issue, believe it or not).
The real issue has been that since he’s gone I’ve wanted to cleanse the house of the bad energy and on moving around the house and deciding my next option I’ve realised that I forced my husband out the door. I took over cupboard and drawer space. I’ve got books in almost every room of the house including the kids. I’ve taken over most of the bedroom and the office space with my clutter and I’ve only just come to that realisation.
Wow! This is a shock to me and one that I hadn’t counted on. Yes I am partly to blame for his departure but I’ve been waiting on this for almost 18 months so I have been living also as a single woman – again another shocker. Wow again! I had NO IDEA I was doing it.
Did I want him to go? No! But if I have to be truthful with myself I realised I “settled”. I liked the satisfaction of being married for this long and finally, finally I was able to afford that new top or some jewellery or that expensive perfume that I could NEVER EVER afford. I liked our life the way it was and I was loathe to change it. Sex: Almost non existent in the past 6 moths and frankly it wasn’t that great when we did have it. Relationship wise? We didn’t go out to dinner or lunch. We didn’t have “us time” – and when we did sit down to talk we had nothing to talk about.
Since he’s left I’ve obviously had to be alone, sleep alone in the house. The kids are hardly ever home due to work commitments and a very good friends network and my son has only just got his first girlfriend so things are certainly changing and growing.
What is also very weird is that every day I’d wake up with questions – the books advise that I would ask questions and then receive the answers throughout the day and shocking as it was to me the answers came in the form of movies I chose to watch – THE MIRROR HAS TWO FACES; PRIDE & PREJUDICE; LETTERS TO JULIET; or the music I was listening to during the day. Even my Horoscope is surprisingly accurate. The conclusion: All was going to be alright in the end and I was going to be OK.
So here I am today. I’m back walking again – I found a place to relax and just be and I am comfortable in my own skin. I’m trying not to focus on negative energy and walk around the track breathing and saying the words that are now initially on my mobile phone “ASK – BELIEVE – RECEIVE”. I’m not sure what I’m asking for yet – there are so many things in my head right now but geez it’s only been a couple of days.
I haven’t focused on anything major and it is so very hard NOT to want to change things immediately but the kids are still at home and I don’t want any major upheavals for a little while yet. The kids are now grown – they are 19 and 21 respectively and they have their own lives although mum is a priority right now.
My husband and I parted on good terms, mainly due to a speech I had been practising for quite some time and while my loving support networking family might not be satisfied with the financial situation right now my husband does not want me to leave the family home just yet. I am going to stay for now and consider my options. I have started the ball rolling and will be getting a couple of new bank accounts etc. My husband being an accountant and working out budgets for the household expenses has worked out a way in which all is going to be well and for right now I’m satisfied. I’m not settling again but I am weighing up my options and this gives me the time to do that. It was obvious to me, after he left, that he had been planning all of this for quite some time. Buying me a new car and laptop, getting my son a new lap top and arranging for him to get a job, cleaning up around the house, arranging a new pergola and arranging the budgets for both kids so this is now my time to plan and see where my mind will take me.
I don’t hate my husband, we are still friends, but he’s trying “too hard” and obviously feeling “guilty” – GOOD! He has the issues, he has to deal with them just as long as he doesn’t keep trying so hard to make amends I can try to have a relationship of sorts with him.
I have to look towards the future and funnily enough I’m looking at it with a totally new perspective. There are things I’ve wanted to do but haven’t had the guts to try but since I’ve become an avid reader of “THE SECRET-THE POWER” I have come to realisation that anything is possible if you put your mind to it. Maybe it won’t work out but at least I will have tried and that’s something I’ve realised I’ve never done before.
Being angry, scared, bored, irritated, disappointed, worried, criticising, envious, guilty and fearful has never been me. I’ve always tried to rise above it all and looked for the love, gratitude, joy, passion, excitement, enthusiasm, hope and satisfaction that life can bring. There are always ups and downs in life but as Miley Cyrus sings “but its the climb” that makes things worthwhile.
I am here and I have a purpose and for right now that’s all I’m focusing on so I feel great!