OK so here goes. Today my husband tells me, finally, that he’s been distant for quite awhile and he’s finally come to the realisation that “THIS is not working”. He doesn’t want anything disrupted and he feels totally guilty but he can’t go on the way he has.
“It’s been happening since our daughter’s 21st ” in APRIL for GOD SAKE! 8 months or more!! And he hasn’t said a thing.
Having said all that I have, of course, noticed it all unfolding especially when I get anonymous phone calls from women telling me my husband is having an affair.
What do I do? I don’t say I ignore it all but I do realise, in my own mind that yes it’s over but I’ve worked damn hard to get to this point in my life and I’m comfortable with my life.
I have two children 21 & 19 who are old enough to accept that their parents are separating. I am comfortable in my own skin and comfortable being alone. Alone time is something I’m used to and agree that I am better off without him.
Having said all that, however, he’s told me I can keep the house and we will work through any issues. Life can go on as normal.
But it’s not normal and life will not be the same ever again.
I have to accept this and move on. I have to address the fact that I can’t go and spend money on clothes on either myself or the kids as much any more. I can’t just spend money. I will have to go shopping for myself (he did it all because he believed I spent too much on shopping). I will have to arrange for the dog to be cut and washed and pay for that myself. If something breaks down I have to pay for it myself and deal with the revelations.
What I will do? I am going to give it 6 months. I will wait. See what I’m spending my money on and address issues as they come to hand.
I know I’m going to be OK – I’ve gone through every emotion for the past 1 – 2 years. I knew it was coming.
He’s feeling guilty and so he should but they are his issues and he has to deal with them. I’m not in love with him or even love him I realised that so many months ago it’s not funny. We’re best friends and we have two children together so I don’t see any issues. They are his to worry about and until I can get a handle on my life and my budget I really don’t care what he is going through.
The funniest part is that I am so very grateful that I don’t have to have lunch with him for his birthday – the kids will join him but they need to be with their father. AND I can get rid of the hideous eight seater table in my lounge that takes up the entire room. I have been dying to get rid of it for 15 years and now is my opportunity. EBAY awaits!!!
It’s only the first day I’m OK – I’ll cry yes for everything that I’ve lost and blame may come for a minute or two but I don’t see any blame when I could just as well said something myself. But I was comfortable and I liked my life. He obviously didn’t like his life the way it was and for that I do hope he finds his place.
MY HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY.. how appropriate – 28th December 2010.
As we head towards the end of the year, it’s a very good time to have a think about the Year That Was. What did you learn this year? Saturn is the planet of lessons and wherever he is in your chart is where you’re most likely to have had a chance to grow and evolve, even if sometimes the lessons were tough and you’d rather have avoided them!
For you as a Libra, Saturn has been in your sign. That effectively means that life has sent you lesson after lesson about how to handle people. If you’re used to getting everything your own way thanks to your gorgeous charms, you may have had some lessons about give and take, as well! It can’t be all one way traffic! Make a list of what you’ve learned now, and you won’t have to repeat the lessons again in 2011! Where are you going right and wrong in love?